


Watch the Smoke Rings Rise

by dizzy



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M, mentions of de-aged derek, season four spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-01
Updated: 2014-07-01
Packaged: 2018-02-07 00:53:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1878849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzy/pseuds/dizzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles dreams about Derek... about both of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Watch the Smoke Rings Rise

Stiles has weird dreams. 

He has weird dreams about Derek, about the boy Derek was. 

He dreams of being the knight that rescues the dude in distress. 

He dreams about walking down a hallway full of funhouse mirrors, some reflecting the boy and some the man. He dreams about soft skin that turns to stubble when he presses an open mouth to it, he dreams about eyes that want to plead as much as they try to threaten. 

He wakes up hard and guilty and hurting and secretly a little bit happy from dreams where he's doing petty high school shit, making out on the bleachers and passing notes. 

Derek must have had that once, right? And now Stiles can picture it so much better. It makes weird possibilities seem a little more real, it humanizes something that's been just a tucked down fantasy for Stiles. 

It's weird because Stiles has, you know, he has _options_ now - if he wants to do stuff. Stuff with people. He's still getting used to that. But... the dreams, the Derek dreams, they're better. And that's fucked up, right? Isn't it? Shouldn't he want what's being offered to him? Shouldn't he feel more tempted? 

But the best part of his day now is that moment right before he goes to sleep, the russian roulette of _will it be a good one or a bad one_ and the way even when they're bad they're still kind of good because he wakes up with the ghost of sense memory, of someone else's hand in his and Derek's voice (one or the other) in his ears. 

* 

Dreams start to turn into day things, too. He gets caught out in class with his mind wandering more than once. 

He would have taken Derek on a totally kickass first date. 

Maybe they'd have gone to the carnival (and he's not sure why, doesn't have a fucking clue why carnivals seem to be a theme in his dreams, except maybe he relates the slightly off center of normal style of them with his fucking _life_ ). 

Stiles would have challenged him to a hot dog eating contest and bought Derek cotton candy and made him ride a roller coaster until they felt like puking. 

Derek would have made a joke about how he didn't trust the ride shoddily put together the day before. He would have tried to scare Stiles by talking about how his keen werewolf ears could hear the creaking of loose bolts. Stiles would have pretended not to care but maybe Derek would have taken it as an excuse to grab his hand, the guise of comfort while both of them enjoyed the nervous back and forth of two kids navigating this for the first time. 

(He tries not to think about where Kate might have taken Derek, but he's pretty sure there wasn't much cotton candy and hand holding there.)

*

And yeah, there are the sex dreams, too. 

He's a teenager with sexual urges. There are dreams and often ones that leave him with stained sheets or a hard on that won't quit for the rest of the day. 

The sex dreams are mostly about the younger Derek, because older Derek seems like he'd chew Stiles up and spit him out. Which has a different kind of appeal but feels more untouchable to Stiles, like so far outside the realm of possibility that his subconscious won't even give it the time of day. No, when he dreams of the older Derek, it's intense and confusing and layered and unsettling. 

Younger Derek is easier. He's less of a puzzle to put together. Stiles dreams of giving Derek his first blowjob. It's not really that he gets off on the innocence thing. He just gets off on the idea that he gets to replace the reality of Derek's fucked up first times with some better ones. 

That and, well, even dream!Stiles is wary of his inexperience level and finds comfort in the someone just as clueless. 

But there are dirtier ones - burying his cock in Derek's soft ass, rutting against him, putting his tongue all sorts of places. He dreams of having Derek vulnerable, not to him but _with_ him, of using their bodies to fall in love. 

*

It's not like he'd have kept Derek that age forever, even if he could. 

Stiles knows that wouldn't have been good for anyone. 

Except maybe, if something had happened, if it just hadn't been in anyone's power to change him back, maybe they could have made a new path together. 

Maybe Derek could have just crashed with Stiles for a while. 

Maybe he could have gone to Beacon High with them. 

He looks at the empty seat beside him in Calc and pretends it doesn't make him wistful now. 

Maybe they could left after this year, gotten the fuck out of dodge. Before, Derek had Laura to protect him. Stiles isn't an alpha werewolf but he's got a few good qualities. He's durable as fuck, for one thing - bends, bruises, but doesn't break. That Derek was abandoned; not through anyone's determination but through faith. 

Maybe if he had someone that stayed by his side and didn't die or leave him, maybe he'd turn out different. 

Maybe he'd be happy. 

* 

Stiles comes to a jarring realization at two in the morning, fresh from a birthday party in his mind, a dream where Derek (and Stiles can't even remember which one now, the tendrils of dream slipping away) stared at a birthday cake with a number candle that kept changing. 

Real Derek, the all grown up one, isn't really all that much older. 

Life experience makes him seem like he's been around for ages but it's only a few years. The age gap between Stiles' parents had been bigger. It's startling how dreams can change your entire perception of something. 

He turns on his side, sleep already beginning to claim him again. As he drifts off, he smiles to himself and wonders if his Derek has ever been to a carnival.


End file.
